10 Things You NEED To Know
Before Befriending a Writer.
By: Jennica Duncan
Being friends with anyone can be tough. As with all artists, being friends with a writer... well lets just say that this can make friendship a little tough-er.
Writers have special needs. Needs that most ordinary people normally wouldn't dream of imposing on those close to them.
Before befriending a writer, please make sure that you are aware and capable of handling these needs! Why? Because they love and trust deeper than anyone else. Ever. They feel emotional pain and heart break stronger than a teenaged girl on her first break up... EVERY TIME. Those of us who truly DO love these writers, will be left to clean up your mess every time... and we may well lose our shit and hunt you down! :) Below is a list of things to look forward to. Can't take the heat? Stay out the kitchen. End of story... pun intended!
1) You have to make an appointment to see them the ENTIRE month of November. Make sure that you are aware that your appointment can change or be canceled depending on how much time they've been able to spend on their Na-No-Wri-Mo... and how many words behind they are. Better yet... Just write all of November off. You can see them again in December, that way you don't get disappointed. (But make sure you call so that they know you're still alive... also so you know they're still alive!)
2) They require more "me time" than pretty much anyone else. And we give it to them because we love them. (In writer speak, "me time" translates to writing time.)
3) We put up with having our heads proverbially chopped off because they took 8 hours of me time (which got interrupted 3 or 4 times by ignorant people calling ) and forgot to eat, so now their blood sugar is low.
4) When ignorant people call, interrupting the writer's "me time"... they may or may not exercise their right to completely negate that day's entire me time. You may then hear, until the next scheduled me time, how they never get any me time.
5) Writing takes A LOT of energy! No, I truly am NOT in any way saying this with any amount of sarcasm at all! It really does take a lot of energy. This said, even if you've called the day before to make sure that you're still on for today... and this morning too... if it's a writing day, you will likely end up with a cancelled date. After writing for 6 hours straight, your writer friend is going to be completely bushed and wanting nothing more than a hot bath and their blanky.
6) Writers look at their writing as a job. Whether they get paid for it or not. You and I might see it as a hobby. Especially if they aren't getting paid for it. BUT!!!! Don't ever! ever! ever! ever! ever! ever say so. If you value your life... and your eardrums... don't ever say that. Just nod your head and agree that deadlines (self imposed or not) are hard as fuck. Just do it! Trust me.
7) If your writer friend trusts you enough to read their manuscript to you... sit down, shut up and listen... even if it takes 3 days. You listen. You get coffee. You get food. You do all of this while listening. This is the biggest fucking honor and people who have been friends with the writer forever, would kill to be in your position. Just listen.
8) Be prepared to sit there and listen to your writer friends manuscript for 3 days, just to have them decide it sucks balls, and toss it in the trash. Then decide that they want it back four days later. They will likely do this 5 or 6 times before they send the manuscript off to the publisher. It is an emotional roller coaster that those of us who love our writer friends lament and love all in the same breath.
9) When your writer friend finally manages to publish their work, DON'T BE A CHEAP ASS! Go out and buy the very first fucking copy that's been put out on the shelf. Make a big deal about it! Take a selfie of that shit! Post it to public media! Go on Amazon and rate that book... as soon as you've read it. Your writer friend may well "friends off" if you give them a false review to stroke their ego.
10) If your writer friend is a blogger, read their blogs! They will write them and plaster the links to EVERY public network site they can. Chances are, if you want to know what's going on in thier lives? Read their blogs. Yes, every single one of them. Even if you just glaze over them and get the general idea. Read them.
This may seem like an awfully tall order just to be friends with someone. Trust me though. If you are able to fill this order, you will have a friend that will love you unconditionally, will always be there for you and will LITERALLY give you the shirt off their back just to make you happy. The companionship that you will get from befriending your writer will out weigh ALL of the sacrifices. My best friend is a writer, and I wouldn't have her any other way!
